The signs most effective at reducing baby frustration are those that address immediate daily needs: “more,” “all done,” “help,” “milk,” “eat,” “drink,” “up,” and “hurt.” These eight signs, recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, give preverbal children a way to communicate their most pressing wants before they can speak. When a ten-month-old can sign “more” instead of screaming at an empty bowl, or sign “help” instead of throwing a toy they cannot operate, the meltdown that would have followed gets replaced with something resembling a conversation. Research supports this practical benefit. In one experiment documented in PMC/NIH, crying and whining were replaced with signing when sign training was implemented.
A study examining parents who use signs with their babies found they experience less parenting-related stress, their interactions are more affectionate, and they have an easier time responding when children are upset. This makes intuitive sense: when a child can tell you what they need, you can actually give it to them, and the cycle of guessing and escalating distress gets interrupted. This article covers which signs work best for reducing frustration, when babies are developmentally ready to use them, what the research actually shows (and where it falls short), and how to teach these signs effectively. We will also address why baby sign language has been adopted into early childhood curricula specifically because it helps reduce frustration and lowers incidences of biting among toddlers.
Table of Contents
- Which Baby Signs Are Most Effective for Reducing Frustration?
- When Should Parents Start Teaching Signs to Reduce Tantrums?
- What Does Research Actually Say About Baby Sign Language and Frustration?
- Why Baby Signs Sometimes Fail to Reduce Frustration
- Signs Beyond Basic Needs: Emotional Vocabulary
- The Long-Term View on Communication and Frustration
- Conclusion
Which Baby Signs Are Most Effective for Reducing Frustration?
The signs that do the most work are those tied to situations where frustration naturally arises. “More” addresses the moment when food, play, or attention stops before a child is ready. “All done” lets them signal they want something to end, whether it is a meal they are finished with or an activity they have lost interest in. “Help” is perhaps the most powerful frustration-reducer because it gives children an alternative to the helpless rage that comes when they cannot accomplish something physically. To sign “more,” bunch your fingers to touch your thumb on each hand and tap your hands together. For “all done,” hold your fists in front of you and turn them outward while extending your fingers. “Help” involves making a fist with your thumb extended, placing it over a flat extended hand, and moving both upward.
These motions are simple enough for small hands to approximate, even if the execution is imperfect at first. Consider the difference in a typical scenario: a fifteen-month-old is trying to open a container and cannot manage it. Without signs, this ends in screaming, throwing, or both. With signs, the child looks at the parent and makes the “help” gesture. The parent opens the container. The child continues playing. This is not a hypothetical outcome but reflects what research by Claire Vallotton demonstrated: children who use signs before they talk can use those signs to communicate about their feelings and control their own behavior.
When Should Parents Start Teaching Signs to Reduce Tantrums?
The optimal window to begin teaching baby signs is between six and eight months of age. This does not mean babies will immediately sign back. most babies begin signing independently between eight and fourteen months, with the youngest reported case being a baby who signed back at five months. Starting at six months allows parents to build signing into daily routines so that by the time babies are motorically and cognitively ready to produce signs, they have already seen them hundreds of times. However, starting later still works. A parent who begins at twelve months has not missed some critical window. The signs may come faster because the child is developmentally more advanced.
The tradeoff is that the peak frustration period, which often hits hard between twelve and eighteen months as children’s desires outpace their verbal abilities, may already be underway. Parents starting later should prioritize “help,” “more,” and “all done” rather than trying to teach a broad vocabulary. One important caveat: the timeline varies significantly between children. A baby who is an early walker may have less motor control available for hand signs because their developmental energy is going elsewhere. A baby who is more sedentary may pick up signs quickly but speak later. None of this indicates anything about intelligence or future development. The goal is communication, and children will use whatever tools become available to them first.
What Does Research Actually Say About Baby Sign Language and Frustration?
The research on baby sign language and frustration reduction is encouraging but limited. In one study at UTEP, 16.66 percent of participants (four out of twenty-four) specifically discussed how baby sign language reduced their child’s frustration before verbal language developed. Mueller et al. in 2013 found that baby sign may help improve the parent-child bond and ease parental frustration. Baby sign language has been adopted into early childhood curricula specifically because it helps reduce frustration for infants and lowers incidences of biting. Here is where honesty matters: these studies have significant limitations. A UNC study found that over ninety percent of information on websites promoting baby sign refers to opinion articles or promotional products with little basis in rigorous research. Limitations such as lack of control groups and small sample sizes make it difficult to generalize results. This does not mean baby sign language does not work for reducing frustration. It means the evidence is largely observational and anecdotal rather than experimentally proven. What parents should take from this is measured optimism rather than guaranteed outcomes. The mechanism makes sense: giving preverbal children a communication tool should logically reduce the frustration of being unable to communicate. Many parents report this exact experience. But if baby sign language does not dramatically reduce your particular child’s frustration, that does not mean you are doing it wrong.
More rigorous studies are needed to understand why it works well for some families and less well for others. ## How to Teach Frustration-Reducing Signs Effectively The most effective teaching method is consistent repetition in context. When you give your baby more crackers, sign “more” as you hand them over. When mealtime ends, sign “all done” while saying the words. The sign should accompany the action every time, creating an association between the gesture, the word, and the outcome. A baby who sees “more” signed thirty times in conjunction with receiving more of something will eventually attempt the sign themselves. Comparison matters here: some parents try to teach signs in dedicated “learning sessions,” showing flashcards or practicing signs outside of context. This is far less effective than contextual teaching. A baby does not understand that the “milk” sign practiced at 3 PM connects to the bottle they want at 7 AM. The sign needs to appear at the moment of wanting milk, during the act of giving milk, and immediately after receiving milk. The tradeoff between vocabulary breadth and depth is worth considering. Some programs encourage teaching dozens of signs. For frustration reduction specifically, mastering the core eight signs recommended by the AAP will accomplish more than superficially knowing thirty signs. A child who reliably uses “help” when stuck has a more useful tool than a child who vaguely recognizes many signs but cannot produce any of them in moments of distress.
Why Baby Signs Sometimes Fail to Reduce Frustration
Baby signs do not eliminate frustration. They give children one additional communication tool, but children still have plenty of reasons to be upset that signing cannot address. A toddler who signs “more” and is told “no more cookies” may be even more frustrated than before because they communicated clearly and still did not get what they wanted. As Jennifer Weeks, Ph.D., a behavioral scientist, notes: “While difficult to watch, these feelings [of frustration] are healthy signs of your child’s wish to understand and control their environment.” Another limitation: some children are not interested in signing. They may skip straight to pointing, grunting, or early words. Pushing signs on a child who has found other communication methods can itself become a source of frustration. The goal was never signing for its own sake but rather communication that reduces distress.
If your child has found a different path to that goal, follow their lead. Parents should also watch for the frustration that comes from their own expectations. If you have been signing consistently for three months and your nine-month-old has not signed back, you may start to feel like something is wrong. It is not. The eight-to-fourteen-month range for first signs is a range, not a deadline. Some children sign early and speak late. Some speak early and never sign. The research shows benefits for those who do sign, but absence of signing does not indicate a problem.
Signs Beyond Basic Needs: Emotional Vocabulary
Once a child masters need-based signs, adding emotional vocabulary can further reduce frustration. Signs for “frustrated,” “sad,” “scared,” and “angry” allow children to label internal states, which research suggests helps with emotional regulation.
Claire Vallotton’s work showed that children who use signs before they talk can use those signs to talk about their feelings, not just their physical needs. For example, a toddler who falls down and is not physically hurt but is emotionally upset can sign “scared” or “sad.” This acknowledgment of their internal experience, followed by parental response to that emotion rather than just checking for injuries, helps children feel understood. The practical outcome is similar to need-based signs: when internal states can be communicated, they do not need to be expressed through screaming or aggression.
The Long-Term View on Communication and Frustration
Baby sign language is a bridge, not a destination. Most children stop signing once their verbal vocabulary catches up, typically between eighteen months and two years. The frustration-reduction benefits are concentrated in that preverbal window when the gap between what children understand and what they can express is at its widest. Using sign language before they speak can dial down your baby’s frustration and dial up their confidence that you will listen and respond, as one expert noted in Today’s Parent.
The larger lesson extends beyond signing itself. Children who learn early that they can communicate and be understood may carry that confidence into verbal communication. Parents who learn to watch for their child’s communication attempts, even imperfect ones, may remain more attuned as language develops. Whether or not you use formal signs, the underlying principle holds: find ways to let your child tell you what they need, and respond to those attempts with attention and action.
Conclusion
The most effective baby signs for reducing frustration are those addressing immediate daily needs: “more,” “all done,” “help,” “milk,” “eat,” “drink,” “up,” and “hurt.” These signs work because they give preverbal children a way to communicate in precisely the moments when frustration would otherwise escalate. Research shows that when signing replaces crying and whining, parents experience less stress and respond more affectionately, creating a positive cycle of communication. To get started, begin signing consistently between six and eight months, focus on contextual teaching rather than abstract practice, and prioritize the core signs over vocabulary breadth.
Keep expectations realistic: the research is promising but limited, and every child develops differently. If signing reduces frustration in your household, excellent. If your child finds other ways to communicate, that works too. The goal is connection and understanding, and signs are one effective path among several.