Understanding baby sign language please sign is essential for anyone interested in baby and toddler sign language. This comprehensive guide covers everything you need to know, from basic concepts to advanced strategies. By the end of this article, you’ll have the knowledge to make informed decisions and take effective action.
Table of Contents
- How Do You Make the Please Sign in Baby Sign Language?
- When Should Babies Start Learning the Please Sign?
- Why Please Is Different From Other Baby Signs
- Teaching Please to Intermediate Signers: A Step-by-Step Approach
- Common Mistakes When Teaching the Please Sign
- Using Please as a Secret Code With Older Toddlers
- Building Please Into Daily Routines
- Looking Ahead: From Please to Broader Communication
- Conclusion
How Do You Make the Please Sign in Baby Sign Language?
The physical motion for “please” is straightforward and easy for small hands to approximate. Start with your dominant hand flat, fingers together and extended. Place your palm against the center of your chest, facing your body. Then move your hand in a circular rubbing motion, typically clockwise if you’re right-handed. The motion should be gentle and deliberate, not rushed. When teaching this sign to your child, position yourself at their eye level so they can clearly see both your hand placement and the circular motion.
Some babies will initially pat their chest instead of rubbing, and that’s perfectly acceptable as an early approximation. The key is consistency in your own demonstration. Every time you say “please,” make the sign simultaneously, speaking the word slowly and clearly. A helpful comparison: while signs like “milk” (a squeezing motion mimicking milking) have a direct physical connection to their meaning, “please” is purely conventional. There’s no intuitive reason why rubbing your chest means politeness. This abstraction is part of why the sign takes longer for young children to use meaningfully rather than just mimicking the motion.
When Should Babies Start Learning the Please Sign?
most babies can begin learning baby sign language around six to seven months old, though they typically won’t sign back until eight months or later. After approximately two months of consistent signing exposure, babies may begin producing signs themselves. However, “please” shouldn’t necessarily be among those first signs, and the timing matters more for this particular word than for others. The core issue is developmental readiness for abstract concepts. A six-month-old understands cause and effect in concrete terms: signing “milk” produces milk.
But the social nuance of “please”””that it’s a courtesy that makes requests more polite””requires cognitive development that most babies simply haven’t reached yet. When you teach “please” too early, babies often learn it as part of the request itself, not as an optional politeness marker. They may think signing “milk” plus “please” is simply the longer way to get milk. A better approach is to wait until your child is slightly older and has mastered several concrete signs first. Once they’re reliably using signs like “more,” “eat,” “milk,” and “all done,” and once they’re closer to 12 to 18 months old, the concept of “please” becomes more meaningful. At this stage, they can begin to grasp that “please” is something extra they add to be polite, not just another step in the getting-what-I-want process.
Why Please Is Different From Other Baby Signs
Concrete signs work well as starting points because babies can directly connect the sign to a tangible outcome or object. “More” relates to getting additional food or continuing an activity. “Milk” connects to the bottle or breast. “Ball” refers to a visible toy. These one-to-one correspondences make learning intuitive. “Please,” by contrast, is what language specialists call a courtesy sign with a complex underlying concept. It doesn’t refer to any object or action””it modifies how a request is perceived socially.
For adults, this distinction is obvious. For pre-verbal children, it’s genuinely confusing. When a child signs “cracker please” and receives a cracker, they may reasonably conclude that “please” is simply part of how you ask for crackers, not a separate politeness element. This doesn’t mean “please” lacks value in baby sign language. It means parents should have realistic expectations about what it accomplishes at different ages. For a nine-month-old, “please” is really just an extra motion. For an 18-month-old who understands social dynamics better, it can become a genuine expression of courtesy. The sign is the same; the comprehension behind it changes dramatically with development.
Teaching Please to Intermediate Signers: A Step-by-Step Approach
Once your child has mastered several basic signs and is approaching or past their first birthday, you can introduce “please” more effectively. The method involves building on existing requests rather than teaching “please” in isolation. When your baby signs for something they want””say, milk””acknowledge the request, then prompt for please. Here’s how it works in practice: Your toddler signs “milk.” You respond, “I’ll get you milk. Can you say please?” Then demonstrate the sign yourself. When they attempt the please sign (even a rough approximation like a chest pat), immediately reward them by fulfilling the request.
This sequence teaches that “please” is something added to requests, and that using it leads to positive outcomes. The tradeoff with this approach is time. If you’re in a hurry or your child is very hungry or upset, stopping to prompt for “please” can escalate frustration. Use your judgment about when to practice and when to simply meet the need. A screaming, hungry baby isn’t learning courtesy””they’re just learning that signing doesn’t work when they’re desperate. Save the please prompts for calmer moments when learning is actually possible.
Common Mistakes When Teaching the Please Sign
One frequent error is making “please” mandatory from the very beginning. Parents sometimes refuse requests that don’t include “please,” even from babies who don’t yet understand what it means. This approach backfires because it can undermine the child’s confidence in signing generally. If their “milk” sign sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t based on a rule they can’t comprehend, they may sign less overall. Another mistake is inconsistency in the sign itself. Some parents rub their chest, others pat it, others use a different location entirely.
While babies can adapt to variations, consistent modeling helps them learn faster. Decide on one version of the sign and stick with it across all family members and caregivers. A subtler issue involves timing and tone. If “please” is only prompted when a parent is annoyed by demanding behavior, children may associate the sign with parental frustration rather than with politeness. Try to introduce and reinforce “please” in neutral or positive moments, not just when you’re correcting behavior. The goal is for “please” to feel like a natural part of communication, not a consequence they must perform when they’ve been too demanding.
Using Please as a Secret Code With Older Toddlers
An underappreciated benefit of teaching “please” early is that it becomes a useful nonverbal reminder as children grow. Once your child understands the sign and can speak, you can use it as a discreet prompt in social situations. If your three-year-old demands juice at a family dinner, you can catch their eye and make the “please” sign rather than verbally correcting them in front of everyone.
This approach preserves the child’s dignity while still teaching manners. Public corrections can embarrass children and sometimes lead to power struggles. A quick, silent sign reminds them of the expectation without making it a confrontation. Many parents find this “secret code” aspect of signing continues to be valuable well past the baby sign language stage, even after children are fully verbal.
Building Please Into Daily Routines
The most effective way to teach any sign, including “please,” is through consistent incorporation into everyday activities. Rather than scheduling special “signing practice” sessions, weave signs into moments that happen naturally: mealtimes, getting dressed, reading books, playing. Say the word aloud and make the sign simultaneously, every time. When introducing “please” specifically, focus on situations where your child is already making requests, even nonverbal ones like reaching toward an object.
Intercept those moments with language and signs: “Do you want the ball? Ball, please.” Demonstrate both signs. Over time, this modeling becomes the foundation for their own use of the signs. Experts suggest focusing on three different words or signs at a time when starting baby sign language. If “please” is one of your three, pair it with two concrete signs like “more” and “eat” rather than with other abstract concepts. This balance gives your child achievable successes with the concrete signs while gradually building familiarity with the courtesy sign.
Looking Ahead: From Please to Broader Communication
Teaching “please” is part of a larger journey toward communication and social skills. Children who learn baby sign language often transition smoothly to verbal language, and the politeness concepts introduced through signing carry forward. The child who learns to sign “please” before speaking will likely use the spoken word naturally when it develops.
As your child’s signing and speaking vocabulary grows, “please” becomes just one of many social niceties they’ll learn. “Thank you,” “sorry,” and “excuse me” all have corresponding signs in ASL that can be adapted for baby use. The foundation you build with “please”””understanding that certain words and gestures are about social harmony rather than direct requests””supports all of this later learning.
Conclusion
The “please” sign in baby sign language””a flat hand rubbing in a circle on the chest””is simple to perform but more complex to teach meaningfully than many parents realize. Because courtesy is an abstract concept, babies may not truly understand what “please” represents until they’re closer to 12 to 18 months old, even if they can mimic the motion earlier.
The most effective approach is to establish concrete signs first, then introduce “please” as an addition to requests your child is already making. Prompt gently, reward approximations, and avoid making “please” a point of conflict. Over time, this sign becomes not just a communication tool but a foundation for social skills that will serve your child well beyond the baby sign language stage.